Published in the Westchester Guardian, August 2011
As the priest applies the special oil to my upturned palms and forehead, the familiar prayers are recited in my reception of the Catholic Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. A Sacrament, a “sign of grace, instituted my by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which divine life is dispensed to us through the work of the Holy Spirit” is one of a number of spiritual tools available in many faiths. This sacrament, offering spiritual healing and comfort, was formerly called the Last Rites or the Sacrament of the Dying. It is now available to any Catholic suffering from one of the multitudes of illness and diseases that attack us in this our human condition. Our maturation in the understanding of mental illness has led the Church to give this blessing for us who suffer from anxiety, depression, bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia, any mental health issue.
There is an old saying, “Those who heard of hell are religious. Those who experienced it are spiritual.” Chronic illness, its onset, the deliberating effects, the diagnosis process and treatment toward recovery can be one’s journey through hell. You may never really recover from mental illness. You learn, over time, to adjust and adapt – continuously. This mental illness has forced me, aggressively challenged me, to seek a deeper meaning to this mystery of life and led me to look deeper into my Catholic faith. One of the results of this challenge is receiving about 3 times a year this blessing. It gives me time to reflect with my pastor and ‘reinforce’ the spirituality I so often need. However, “Go carefully: Spiritual growth must proceed slowly and steadily. To often we want to improve ourselves and our relationships so quickly that we make ourselves frustrated and confused.”, thus warned Rebbe Nachman of Breslov and many others.
Faith has grown slowly, deliberately forward – small steps or deposits in the bank of letting go. As a Cradle Catholic, I understood the basic tenets, or thought I did; however, I needed to see the miraculous occur in this century, something, a sort of bridge to the spiritual. Some may say that faith begins with trust and the acceptance with the unseen. I accept that and at times that was good enough, but with or without illness, more was desired to go with the foundation of two thousand years of Catholic spirituality. We live in an electronic culture where so much is instantaneous, where ‘plastic’ images dominate the visible spectrum, where values and wealth are defined by quantity and false beauty.
So it may be a personal weakness of mine needing to ‘feel’ a bridge to Truth, but I did not leave my spirituality at that. My spirituality did not begin with this bridge and certainly does not end with it. Reading more, asking more questions, seeking a spiritual director and practicing this faith has led me let go, try to let God and accept the now.
This Bridge consists of many events in both recent and past world history. Denial of one or even denial of all these events is possible but the free will choice of acceptance was made and done. Unlike a jigsaw puzzle where one piece is incomplete without the whole and the whole is incomplete without that one, each of these miracles, individually, stands alone holding Truth. Be it the faith and determination of Dorothy Day and Saint Vincent DePaul, or the living Crucifixion of St. Padre Pio or the fantastic apparitions of the Virgin at Knock, the Tilma at Guadalupe or Miracle of the Sun at Fatima, or the quiet discipleship of Solanus Casey, they show that we live in world where the spiritual definitely belongs. Where there is an interaction between our world of time and space to the spiritual world of faith and holiness, beyond the physical. What’s unbelievable is that these are only a few of many instances where the physical and spiritual interconnect, presenting a new reality, showing that God is not out there watching over us, but with us in His self-creating and renewing universe.
This mental illness still predominates and its pain can be unbearable, especially how it can drive out, swallow-up and overwhelm rationality, spirituality and hope. With the absence or with the presence of illness we must all struggle and faith itself is a struggle. Unlike other hopes, desires and escapes our culture offers, there are items spirituality can offer that may/will stay with us. Religion and spiritual (there is a difference) offers a perspective leading to this new reality about our individual existence and the fate through faith of our souls – us. This faith extends the self beyond the now, the present biological moment/state we are currently presented. It tells us that we never truly alone. It presents a reality where love, care and service matters, where our cultural behaviors and ideals are turned on its head.
Glenn Slaby Blog