Published in the Westchester Guardian, December 2012
I heard it said that if the devil cannot make you sin, he will make you busy.
Time is your enemy. People are immoveable objects that cause longer lines that cause you to miss that green light, and cause you to fall behind schedules that were impossible to keep in the first place. The mind has lost any resemblance of cognitive thinking. The brain is over activated with stimuli, both audio and visual. The Spirit has no space to enter in to the self. This time of year amidst the joy lost, there are times I must use all the skills of my toolbox (see August 25th, 2011 column) and then some just to maintain a resemblance of composure. My years ofDialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) will be put to the test. These therapies – mindfulness, interpersonal, emotional regulation skills and even distress tolerance will be needed and used. For more on these DBT skills my March 15, 21012 column)
Everyone is on a journey. This time of year, the journeys are similar but with different set of triggers such as family relationships, traveling and monetary constraints. Even being alone for just a short time can generate a series emotions such as despair, anxiety, frustration, etc. We have become slaves to the season dictated by cultural commercialism. This year seems particularly difficult with Christmas falling on a Tuesday, meaning most people will either be working the day before or the day after – a very inductive way to enter the deeper Spirit of the Holy Season (cynicism here). No wonder so many have such short fuses including keeping to a schedule that was difficult and busy under “normal” circumstances.
If possible we must try to balance, continually, our material culture with the unseen, but not unfelt spirituality. After a month of mostly material preparation, a joyous religious and spiritual season becomes a 24 hour event of gluttony. Christmas, coming in the dreariest of seasons for most of the world, brightens the landscape of our cities, but it should also brighten the landscape of our soul. But how to go about obtaining and maintaining such a mindset? I don’t have the answers. I fall into stress sometimes distress. My mindset must change. Maybe, after this article is submitted.
Is unnecessary stress created because my views are misguided? Can I pass on some of the chores? Can I omit the finer details? Am I creating my own stress by having incorrect views of the situations? Have I looked at all the options? Maybe there is a way of having control over the situation at least a small portion. Maybe my shopping lists and trips can be trimmed. I can afford paying a little more by shopping in one store and save an hour. If not, music can be a good way to chill. Maybe I will take that first parking space further up from the store and avoid the hassle of competing with other shoppers for that closer spot. Sit in car for a few minutes, listen to that song, take a few deep breaths and slow down. I’ll read a magazine while waiting on line and not watch another customer take forever to pay the cashier. Maybe I’ll even smile and say a polite word to mother struggling with her children or the overworked cashier. (It has been proven that when you smile the brain initiates a chemical reaction that makes you feel better.) Focusing on, helping someone with their struggles of carrying too much of a load – both physical and mental will make life so much easier. Getting out of oneself through helping others is the best way, The Christian Way.
Reducing the demands of stressful situations is difficult. Trying to remember to do them is also difficult. Look at the thoughts that are driving you up the preverbal wall. If you cannot change the situations, acceptance of the issues can bring relief. Remember the prayer of St. Francis. Be proactive where and when you can. Take regular breaks. Eat right, stay away from over indulging on caffeine and sugars. And reward yourself at the end of the day. I’ll try and listen to my own advice.
Christmas can be a season, not a one day event. We should celebrate it as such by visiting family and friends. Make those calls; write little notes in your Christmas cards. Take a deep breath and be aware of the outside air refreshing your lungs. Has television become a soft addiction? Maybe, so turn it off, again listen to some good music or that CD you wanted to listen to, or just enjoy the silence. Try to be in the moment and say a little prayer, it can create a wonderful feeling. See how much more can be accomplished. Remember we are never truly alone.
#865
Glenn Slaby Blog