Published in the Westchester Guardian, May 2012
The overheard conversation about health and illness leads my brain into areas that my mind will not ignore – areas that are very uncomfortable. Meanwhile, radio and television advertisements that are supposed to create fear, doubt, incompleteness about my life and body can do just as they intended. This results in “normal’ thought patterns being interrupted with lingering, unwanted issues and images. Their prevalence is overwhelming in our various forms of media where there is money to be made. Routine aches and pains of life invoke catastrophic, cascading images. The brain seems to be programmed to think in a negative, needy way. Why it does this, I do not know, but it is a habit that must be broken and this brain retrained.
These negative judgments are instantaneous and seemingly automatic. For some, these thoughts might be similar to the perceptions of failing an exam before the test is given. I was not even aware, until recently, of how ‘black or white’ they were or how frequent negative reflections occur. Finding a root cause is not important. Awareness of them is primary and the first step to freeing the mind.
The processing of these thoughts implies “what if” scenarios, with negative outcomes. These internal conversations occur throughout the day, almost continuously. Internal conversations are normal; however, the degree, frequency and their unhealthy perspective are not. Many through AA programs are familiar with the term “Stinkin’ Thinkin”. Web sites such as the huffingtonpost.com, joy2meu.com, and psychcentral.com give very good explanations of the various types dysfunctional thought processes.
Some of the most common terms and explanations for these types are:
Black or White, All or nothing thinking. There is nothing in the middle, no half points, only absolutes. Something is viewed as totally negative. A mistake means I’m no good, defective. (Very rarely is an event or thing totally positive.)
Magical thinking, jumping to conclusions. While the term magical might imply something positive, the brain will conjure up automatic negative situations arising from certain events. In addition an individual may try preventing unhealthy occurrences by doing things in threes. Besides, these may lead into negative self-fulfilling prophecies. Fortune-telling is not in our human make-up. We’re given the gift of free-will, not the gift of prophecy.
Negative mental filters. Discounting the good and focusing on that minor fraction that doesn’t perform to an impossible perfection. Letting that one negative comment destroy all the good that was accomplished. Or focusing on what we don’t possess, and not on what we have.
Supporting self-inferiority. When doing something in a positive, constructive, enabling way, you ignore it, holding on to the non-substantial, unconfirmed negative belief that you are no good and unworthy of anything. The positives you have achieved you consider minor, without worth or value, just like the self.
Should and should haves. These words and similar expressions and statements do not belong to any culture or language, unless that culture is based upon over achieving, greed and self-gratitude. “Should” and words such as “could have”, “have to”, seem to disavow, eliminate the human element of God’s gift of free will by having one perform like a machine without the responsible freedom of choice inherit in us. Mistakes, adjustments and corrections are part of us and part of our spiritual development. They enable us to grow.
Emotional Reasoning. Having negative emotional feelings become the foundation for what you believe you are. “I feel like a failure, so I must be one”. We must remember, what we feel is not what we are – fantastic individuals with both spiritual and physical planes made by God in God’s image.
Magnification or as Psychcentral.com calls it “The Binocular Trick”. As fear and emotion gain control, exaggeration becomes very easy as we view problems to be larger than they are and admirable qualities to be smaller and less significant.
Overgeneralization. Seeing a pattern where one does not exist, Believing mishaps/mistakes are directly related to external events. “Every time it rains, I have a bad day at work”. Also, implying the terms ‘always’ and ‘never’ to deeds that are supposed failures.
Self-labeling. Viewing the mistakes we make and flaws we have, as being your complete self, then attaching a label such as, “I am stupid” or “I must be an idiot” to your self identity. Negatively identify with our unsuccessful dealings and actions. “I fail, therefore I am stupid.”
Personalization and blame. Blaming ourselves for events that are steps removed from ones action or inaction, thereby bringing us down to a level God has not intended. For example, blaming yourself for choices made by a grown child or subordinate.
I did not know if these negative thinking processes arise out of cultural influences or from something inherent in humans. A social anthropologist may have an answer, but whatever the cultural, social pattern or genetic relationship cause, our human nature seems to feed upon this style of false thinking and functioning.
“To change faulty thinking patterns, we must first recognize that they are irrational ways of thinking that don’t work well for us in the long run.” Through understanding the types of stinking’ thinkin’, we can see our insecurities, our inferiority, our doubt and lack of faith. With the proper assistance and encouragement we may live a fuller life, even with mental illness. We can move, leaning forward, towards a life of learning, acceptance, trust and Letting go, letting God.
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Glenn Slaby Blog