Published in the Westchester Guardian, October 2013
SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER
It comes around the tail end of August. The slight knocking on the back of conscience thoughts. A little nudge at first, telling that change is coming, that particular, annual uncomfortable change – again.
Autumn hath all the summer’s fruitful treasure;
Gone is our sport, fled is our Croydon’s pleasure.
Short days, sharp days, long nights come on apace;
Ah, who shall hide us from the winter’s face?
Cold doth increase, the sickness will not cease,
And here we lie, God knows, with little ease.
From winter, plague, and pestilence, good Lord deliver us!
―Thomas Nash, Autumn
Autumn challenges us to retain our sense of normalcy with the calamity of the changing seasons. As daylight decreases, I may find myself being slowly isolated on various levels/planes of the physical, spiritual and emotional. It may be an actuality or just another false single from the brain but, it’s a lingering feeling that doesn’t dissipate until spring. For some it’s a severe onset of lethargy, for others it means the onset of depression. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), occurs with our earths’ cycles around the sun. Winter disorders are the more common and what I will focus for this article.
“Six percent of the US population, primarily in northern climates, is affected by SAD in its most marked form. Another 14 percent of the adult US population suffers from a lesser form of seasonal mood changes, known as winter blues. Of course, seasonality affects people all over the world. The prevalence of SAD in Oslo, Norway, was reported as 14 percent in contrast to 4.7 percent in New York City. In fact, someone may have winter blues while living in southern climates and convert to full blown SAD if he or she moves to a northern climate.” Dr. Norman Rosenthal, www.psychiatry.mmc.com May 2008.
Six per cent, six out of every one hundred people, sounds like a small number, but multiply it by 300 million Americans and you get a minimum of 18 million souls whose lives are turned upside down by this seasonal illness. Add a few million for their family members and this pain is magnified with this annual distress of a physical non-visible illness. Think of the assumptions rendered about that one family member unable to function, ‘looking’ fine and judged. Think of the social, economic and spiritual distress caused by so natural an event. Why does God have some of us handicapped by such a natural event for such a length of time – late September through early May?
Websites (National Alliance on Mental Illness, [nami.org] mayoclinic.com and webmd.com) agree that “the specific cause of seasonal affective disorder remains unknown” but it is definitely related to the lack of sunlight. They also contribute it to various factors including hormones (melatonin), serotonin (a chemical neurotransmitter within the brain), circadian rhythms (sleep-wake cycles) and geographic location especially the northern hemisphere – all logical but still challenging and difficult. Women are more affected then men and the disorder’s risk for initial inception lessens as you age. The prime/target age group is 15 to 55 and anyone with a close relative with mental illness. Another mental illness, invisible to most, but a hidden terror to the inflicted and their families.
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss
“Minor” symptoms vary and include moodiness, anxiety, hopelessness, oversleeping, craving carbs, weight gain, feeling grumpy, loss of interest in one’s usual activities and daytime fatigue. The mayoclinic.com list other complications and issues such as suicidal thoughts and behaviors, social withdrawal, school or work problems and substance abuse. It may also be difficult to diagnose between this and non-seasonal depression – a living, invisible, hell, flailing itself at our minds, terrorizing souls, trying to corrupt the core of our very being.
“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.”
– Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
Diagnosis and treatment suggestions best come from a doctor. When seeing any doctor be prepared with a list and record of medications, moods, patterns, symptoms and questions. There are three basic categories of treatment as per the web sites: medicinal, light therapy and psychotherapy.
Some easy things to do are opening up the blinds, putting more lights on and just talking a walk in the sun. I do not suffer strongly from this ailment but the fall and winter months are the only times of the year where I do not complain (too much) about lights being left on in unoccupied and adjacent rooms. Also, I do most of my writing and some hobbies – jigsaw puzzles – near a window, avoiding that loneliness that comes from an enclosed space. In the meanwhile, be and stay active, and get out of bed as soon as possible. Do not linger, for before you know it another day has passed.
“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”
― Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story
I am only a patient. All the information I have gathered here is from and available through your local library, various web sites and medical professionals. Please, if you believe there is a slightest chance you or someone you love may have any form/type of mental illness do NOT go through this suffering alone. You are not alone. Illness, especially mental illness creates a void and tries to isolate the self. Be resilient, seek confirmation, treatment, spiritual help, friendships and let those around you into your life.
Between the mutinous brave of the burning of the leaves
And winter’s covering our hearts with his deep snow
We are alone there are no winter birds we know
The naked moon the tame stars circle our eaves
―Archibald MacLeish, Immortal Autumn
This life sees only the underside of the tapestry made by God. An underside of loose threads and mismatched colors. I wonder how mental illness fits into His magnificent creation and the reason for pain. Where does suffering fit into the greater scheme of life? There are many spiritual and religious voices just waiting to be heard and read. Maybe they have answers or at least some consolations and deeper perceptions.
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