Published in the CMD Mental Health News and Transitions
One Saturday during the early summer, my wife suggested some plans. Throughout the day I felt uncomfortable and anxious, yet I couldn’t figure out the source. Finally it occurred that my daily, expected routine was entirely out of balance with the events of that day.
I had to adapt to the situation that summer morning. My comfort level abruptly shifted. The daily expected routine was usurped. Control of events is something no one possesses. Everything changes. Nothing is absolute. There are always going to be changes/transitions. There must be and we must adopt and accept some degree of change for there is little we could. We must be flexible. I have to. We consumers and non-consumers alike must all expect and accept it. Resistance will just cause our inner balance and struggles to become more unsettling. We can either bend or break.
Change and Acceptance
There are both short and long term transitions. – Death of a family member or friend, break-ups, new relationships, having a son home for summer vacation and back to school in September, etc. Changes at work, losing a job, events planned and unplanned all have some effect on the things that make us what we are. Then there are the seasonal changes, with the shift in our emotions reflected by shifts in sun and weather patterns. All are part of the life cycle. Try never to stretch yourself out, always have some internal reserve of energy. Expect, accept, acknowledge, let go, and release the stress.
One way to make change more acceptable is to find some positive attribute from this transition. For example, having to take a train instead of driving will enable me to relax for a few minutes and give me the opportunity to interact with strangers.
The change in daylight savings brought darker nights but brighter mornings. I’ll leave more lights on at night to fight off the downs of an early dusk. Try to accept it. Even look/search for the positive aspects no matter how miniscule and silly they may seem. Adopting to change is a must for animals, for individuals, and for societies. There are techniques and traits we must all develop to grow, to survive or to just sustain. The discomfort of any break in routine is disquieting especially for us consumers, but non-consumers also feel the affects. It’s pleasing on many levels to have the same procedure.
The smaller changes/transitions can be very difficult in themselves. They may go unnoticed and be a cause of discomfort. We may find it hard to accept that something so insignificant can be so unsettling to our inner balance and subconscious.
Faith
When a large, uncomfortable transition occurs causing an increase anxiety, I need something bigger to hold on to. I need some positive affirmation that the situation(s) will change for the better – to have hope. For this there is Faith. Faith in oneself, in others – Faith in God, in something grander than what we can comprehend but is both reachable and comforting.
Nothing here is forever, but Faith, and this is the bond that can hold us together as individuals and as a community. This is something to develop, to learn, and there are many who have such a gift and who are there for us, for support, for understanding and comfort. Religious belief sets us on a path of possibly more questions, but also acceptance of the world – an acceptance of our faults and the faults of others. Not to judge but to give to those around us.
There are many tools to use for adopting to change. And there are many individuals out there to aid us, however, for our part we must acknowledge and accept our weaknesses. That’s the hard part for our stubbornness is borne out of pride and remember, the ego is the last to surrender
Positive Transitions
Routines can become a trap. A rut that we’re not aware of until some outside factor disrupts us. It is an unseen curse. My wife and I visit an assisted living residence and we see the routines that develop. Individuals and groups doing the same thing day after day.
Seek transitions. Daily ones. Especially during the dark enclosed winter months. Walk into a store and just browse. Say hello to a stranger. Pick up a CD, DVD or book at the library; just browse, daydream and pick a topic that’s unusual/different for you. See how another culture lives. Pick up a book on modern art or photography and how see those crazy images can make sense to some people. Also give your brain and patience a challenge – with your non-dominate hand try tying your shoe, brushing your teeth or some other activity. Experiment with your belongings by moving your chair or desk – you may find it interesting and beneficial. Seek suggestions from friends. Sometimes a positive outcome may occur by having a fresh pair of eyes looking at it.
We never know immediately transitions’ true impact, its duration, and strength of disruption. Seeking to lessen the effect may take up more energy and time than the original disrupting event; however, try to use the resources available to us. There are many aspects to our culture that are beneficial. We must learn to maximize these unseen resources.
There are many ways to look at changes and transitions. They will and must occur. Accept, understand it, and don’t fight it too much. We all have our comfort zones but they must be flexible. Seek a new comfort zone. Think outside the box. And seek support.
Glenn Slaby Blog